189 million breaths you’ve taken …

The Police album Synchronicity is 30 years old on June 1. And so is everything else about the summer of 1983.

Mowing the lawn. Standing in line for Return of the Jedi. Mowing the lawn. “Every Breath You Take.” Mowing the lawn. The B-52s Whammy tour at the Oklahoma City Zoo Amphitheater (Red Rockers opened). Mowing the lawn. The Gatorade slushies at the snack bar at the Woodlake Racquet Club. Mowing the lawn. John “Devo” Devero’s zippy little Nissan. Mowing the lawn. The Uncanny X-Men. Mowing the lawn. National Lampoon’s Vacation. Mowing the lawn. Stephen King novels. Mowing the lawn. The first time I told the haircut lady that I’d like my hair to be a little bit longer in the back and then shorter on top and in the front. Mowing the lawn. My Rolling Stone subscription. Mowing the lawn. Discovering a copy of the Village Voice at the newsstand of the Penn Square B. Dalton’s and trying to figure out where, precisely, this “village” was located. Mowing the lawn. “Burning Down the House.” Mowing the lawn. The second time my father and I went to see Flashdance (which we’d already seen the week before, on our weekly pizza-and-a-movie night, as per some documented or unspoken custody arrangement). Mowing the lawn. Turning 15. Mowing that fucking lawn.

The average person inhales and exhales about 6,286,920 times a year. That’s about 189 million breaths since “Every Breath You Take” was everybody’s favorite song.

UPDATE, 6/1/13: Miss Gradenko checked in and reports that she is completely safe.

Leave a Comment